its may 19th-where the hell have i been?

wow, cant believe i havent posted in so long. well, i am at about 25 lbs down now. I finally got a wonderful new awsome scale. I still cant believe how my weight fluctuates each day. I was 228 on friday, took a 7 mile bike ride w hubby and saturday morning i was 225.something, and then sunday i rode again and was down to 222.something ( i keep forgetting the little 10/ths of a lb) and monday morning i was back up to 225. WTF???? I did think loosing so much from a bike ride was crazy, but at least scale is moving. From start weight of 249 that makes just about 25 lbs. I am on my last shot and wow, after posting on the hcg forum, people are so friggin helpful, its wonderful. Especially lilskigirl51, i just love her. SO thanks lilskigirl51, u are awsome. I cant wait to have a drink memorial day weekend. I have not had any alcohol since well, 40 days ago tomorrow. That is awsome. Yes my name is stephanie and i am a wino. LOVE the VINO!!. However havent actually missed it this whole time. HCG is an amazing little liquid. I really hope i can stabalize my weight during P3. I was planning on loosing but it really is not what you are supposed to do. I am to only go under by 2 lbs max. My hypothalamus is setting itself and to loose too much is bad for my body. Wow, that sounds really f-ed up. But I will continue to do what i need to do to get down to a well, i havent planned a clothing size, but i have two goals. 1 is to be able to wear a tank top and look good and 2... i really want to be able to cross my legs comfortably. I am short, and have short legs, so this will require me to be much smaller. I am on my way. Hurray.

day 25- down 1.5 i think?

I have complained about this cheap scale before and here goes again. Shit, i am so envious of the other people who can report they lost .2 lbs. My scale can change the weight loss up to 1-2 lbs depending on how i stand on it. I am getting a better scale soon. And my clinic scale is a few lbs over mine at home so its annoying that i think i lost more than what is says at the clinic. By my caculations i started at 250-251 after gorging and i am now around 232 (scale said 231.5 on one try as well) Either way, its a nice weight loss. I have so much more to loose, its kinda aggravating. I will need to loose over 25lbs for anyone to notice i think. I dont know why i need that validation. I mean the joy i got this morning when i buttoned a pretty silk black blouse that totally hadent fit me last month should be enough.
Going to New Hampshire this weekend for a wedding. I already am planning on bringing my proteins, bread sticks and fruits. i am sure i can get the veggies on the road or at the wedding. I already paid an extra $10 to have a fridge in the hotel room. So i am planning on being perfect, just like i was last weekend when i went to my sisters bar party in NY. Yikes that was a test. If i passed that, i will find this one to be no problem. I am kinda excited to be done with the VLCD 2 weeks after i come home. Wow, i never thought 40 days would actually be 6 weeks, that sounds much longer than 40 days. The idea i can have a greek salad with feta cheese literally makes my mouth water. And that is perfectly ok on the interm before i start in june again.

day 21- I did an apple day- lost 3lbs next day

So i have not been writing in this as much as i did when i started. I think when i dont loose each day, i get too pissed to write. But i am following this diet perfectly, until today when i had a little more tomato then i should have, may have been 1/2 cup extra. Funny how that 30 calories made me feel a little guilty. I have been hungry today though. Last day of work month, so a little stressed out. Plus i am PMS, so the 1lb i gained back from apple day is probably me retaining fluid. I must say, i am a little disappointed in my scale. Literally. It was a cheapie, only $17, but it said it would measure 1/2 lbs too, but each day i am an even amount, never 1/2 lb increments. I should have splurged for the $45 scale, which had up to 1/4 increments. Oh well, at least i go to the clinic tomorrow and will see actual weight loss. cant believe i am only at the 1/2 way mark. Feels like i have been on this for a few months. Cant seriously believe i have not drank any wine in over 3 weeks. Holy shit! That is kinda cool. I dont even crave it on weekends. That is a bonafide miricle. I am very proud of myself for doing this. Wish it was phase 3 already though. Kinda miss going out with the hubby for dinner on weekends.

day 19 VLCD- no weight loss for 5 days!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arrggggggghhhhhhhhhhh, i am so mad the scale is not dropping. I have been perfect. I am not excercising at all. But i didnt want to burn off calories and be hungry, which was what i was told could happen. I went away this last past weekend and was perfect. i grilled my protien, (totally scrumptious, will do that all the time now and freeze it for week) I brought my fruits and even a bag of kirby cukes and the breadsticks. I am confused and kinda angry. How the hell with my weight could i eat 500 calories and not loose? My nutritoin director said if weight dosent move tomorrow, to do an apple day tomorrow, eat 6 apples and nothing else. Its supposed to get rid of water weight. i will give it a try. i will probably be more full from apples than usual food, but if helps me loose, i will gibe it a whirl. Has anyone had a no weight loss pattern? I am trying so hard to change myself and its really frustrating. i know i am loosing inches, but shit- that scale means so much to me. Highly recommend to ya'all to BBQ all your meats. Wven the ordinary shrimp were awsome. And BBQ'd buffalo filet mignon- very delish. Tomorrow is going to be a better day.

Day 8- 0 LBS lost

I am sure i will loose tomorrow. I was, not to be gross and graphic, but i was so constipated, i was ready to plunge my butt. Thank goodness after a cup of coffee and a correctal all is ok. But i must say, i had absolutly no appetite today. I read about people who had blogged and commented that they sometimes had to stuff the food down and sometimes almost forgot to eat, while on the HCG and i thought that was a bunch of hooey. But as i live and breathe, i didnt eat anything but an apple by 4pm. I did make a late lunch and an even later dinner, but holy crap, to the folks who are trying to debunk what we are doing, if i was eating so little calories, i would be screaming with starvation. I am just so eager to go to bed each night for the weigh in morning time. I have been just so upbeat since i started this journey. Its nice to just be in a good mood, ya know?

Day 6 and 7- 2 Lbs each day making 4 for the weekend

Wow, down 11 Lbs on the my first week. Feeling pretty good. Craig commented i was in a great mood all week. I hadn't noticed but i guess when i am doing something amazing for myself, and it is working awesomely, i feel pretty good. This has been the first weekend in many years i have not had any wine. I have not craved it at all. That is as much of a a surprise to me as not having many hunger pains so far.
We are going to an art show in Delray Beach today. Usually this would turn into a food feast as well as checking out the art- but i will eat my lunch before we go and pack lots of water. Shit, i hate using port-o-potties, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do. I will pack lots of napkins.
One little weird thing, i had a dream i was at a Dr's office getting weighed by an old friend of mine named Amy, and my weight was exactly what it was when i weighed myself this morning. And i have a digital scale. Well, i was just fresh from the dream when i weighed myself and i felt kinda like Patricia Arquette in Medium. It made me smile.

Day 5- first day no weight loss at all , boo hoo

Well, 1st day no weight loss, but come on, i am doing great. I am actually being perfect so far. I am going to the Dr today so i will see the actual weight loss since my 1st appointment, which was before gorging days, but it will be actual weight loss i guess. I have been looking all over the internet and wow, there is such a community of HCG people out there. I joined the Happily Thinner After site. Kinda reminds me of the "family" one gets with overeaters annonymous. People who understand what you are feeling and are sharing the journey with you.

I am going away next weekend. i am a little nervous since its my sisters 40th birthday party and my family are not only party drinkers but they eat like theres no tomorrow (sorry Jen, if u are reading this, but u know its true :) ) I would love any tips from anyone who is reading this on how to travel with the LCD foods. What travels best- i am thinking cooked chicken cutlet may be best, and radishes or cucumbers. Those wont get too wilty or gushy. This is going to be the first weekend i havent had any wine in... well ... years i think. And right now, i am totally ok with it. I dont feel any desire for it. Thats awsome.

Day 4 on low calorie diet- minus 1.5LBS

I tell ya, i love going to sleep each night because not only does it give me less time for any temptation thoughts of food, but before i know it, i am waking up and weighing less! I went to the Dr today for a back pain i had been having for a month and when i bounced my diet off him, he surprised me by telling me not only has he heard of the HCG used in weight loss, but a Dr. friend of his has a clinic that is devoted mainly to the HCG. My husband Craig was expecting the Doc to basically say awful things about the diet and that it was harmful to me and i should get off it ASAP. This was simply not the case. The Dr. says he does hear results, but he is very pro -excercise to help keep the weight off. I totally agree. He basically tells me that the key to keeping the weight off is 40 minutes of excercise a day. I am totally on board with that plan and cant wait until my weight is at a managable amount where doing excercise will be soooo much easier. Though i am going to go back on the treadmill, not excerting myself like a maniac, but for healthy heart reasons and just to excercise my muscles. Its 5:15pm today and so far, hardly any desire for food at all. How could anyone say this dosent work? With what i am eating each day, i would be out of my mind with hunger. Anyway, i am feeling very positive today and unbelievably motivated and excited. I have not lost a lot of weight in years, been maintaining for weigh to long. (pun intended).

day 3- holy cow, - 4.5 LBS

Wow, i bought a digital scale at target for only $17 yesterday. I needed to see exactly what was going on. The weight was 2 lb difference from my regular scale but the weight difference is from yesterday afternoon on the digital scale. I was pleasantly surprised by the weight loss. Yesterday was much more managable with hunger. Not too bad, little uncomfortable at night, but i saved an apple and a breadstick and i was fine. Who the hell would have thought a breadstick would feel like such a treat and be so satisfying? That is crazy. Read on the HCG forum about some variations on cooking the meats we eat. I forgot who put a recipe for ground chicken cutlet with seasonings- i used salt, pepper, curry powder and onion powder. Cooked it in my pan with some vinegar. Pretty tasty. Put it on a bed of vinegar and stevia shredded cabbage cole slaw. I am a little worried since i remember cabbage being awfully gassy, poor craig. Maybe i will blame it on Shelby my golden retriever. Oh, who am i kidding, my hubby knows i have some pretty heinous farts. Havent heard from my step mother-in-law W yet. I wonder how much weight she lost this morning? Glad to see some new people who are reading my blog, kinda makes me feel like Lindsay Lohan a little. By the way, anyone see her make believe e-harmony ad? It was frigging hilarious!. Until tomorrow...

Day 2- minus 3 lbs

I weighed myself yesterday in the morning (which is the official weighing time I will be using) and during the day. Since i drank more than 1/2 my weight in water ounces, i was actually up like 5 lbs from 2 initial gorging days, but that was literally all water weight. So i actually really lost 3 lbs. (not to bad) My husband, Craig, who from the jump start has been very against me doing the HCG protocol, actually said this morning, and i quote, "if you can loose like 20lbs on this and keep it off, than i guess it was worth it. " HOLY CRAP! I was quite happy to hear those words of support. Its weird, he usually is so supportive of anything i do, but on my diet journeys, most of which always wound up unsuccessful, i am not surprised by his negativity this time. He just doesn't want me to get my hopes up and be disappointed and well, devastated is more the right word, if i don't get the results i am supposed to. As for my step-mother in law, who is doing this with me; well, lets call her W. As i was quite hungry at different times during the day yesterday, when i spoke to her, not only had she not eaten all her foods for the day as of yet, but she was feeling no hunger at all. Well, good for her. She certainly does not have to loose over 100lbs like i do, so i guess her body does not need or crave food as mine always has. I read on the HCG diet info forum, that hot tea helped a lot of people to curb the hunger. So i did drink a lot of tea yesterday. It did help a bit. I also peed what felt like 20 times yesterday. That makes me think of the Adam Sandler movie Big Daddy, when he and the little boy are peeing on the wall of a restaurant and he says, "and now we're loosing weight". Well that is all for today.

my adventure on HCG

Well, day 1 of offical 500 calories a day. Got through the 2 day gorging fest. Harder than i anticipated and strangley, not as fun as one would imagine. I feel like i have eaten everything. Totally ready to begin this 40 day adventure. I do have some expectations, but i dont want to set myself up for dissapointment, so i would be happy with 15 lbs, though do really expect over 20lbs, with all i medically have to loose. Well, my shot comming at 10:30am. So i am gonna start work for the day.